Tuesday, May 17, 2011

My Emma!

This my friends, was probably the second indication that God has a sense of humor! Rich being my first!

Emma is about to be 13 years old and not long ago, I teased about the fact that she may not make it to teenagehood! I am pleased to announce, I have chosen to let her experience it! She just thinks life is rough now!

When Emma started 6th grade, I thought that some thing, and i don't mean "something", I do mean some THING, had taken over my baby girls body. She became something that I did not know, could not reason with and some days, did not like to be in the same room with. I have stated before, and those of you who know me, know that I am a completely transparent person, what you see is what you get, I do not put up a front for anyone's sake.

Even into Emma's 7th grade year we struggled to even get along. But I must share with you that in the last couple months, we are managing to do much better. One night after a terrible couple of days, Rich left me at home to ponder things. As I was washing dishes, it hit me, HIT ME HARD. I was scared of my children. Not physically scared but emotionally scared.

I am the mother that instructs my children to do something and when that task is not completed or not completed correctly, I just do it myself, usually with a bad attitude and lots of anger. Rich reminded me that I am the parent. While completing the task that I had asked Emma to do, I begin to think of my fears.

If I MAKE my kids do something that they don't won't to do, then they won't like me! I was to worried about being their friend instead of the parent. After I finished cleaning the kitchen, I went to Emma's room and had a long talk with her. I explained that as the oldest, more responsibility is laid on her shoulders. She needs to lead by example. I also told her that I make the decisions that I make in order to protect her.

The attitude from a teenager did not automatically go away, but when she does get smart, I ask her "Why do I do what I do?" She responds, sometimes, most times, with a not so willing attitude, "You do it to protect me". Then she is obedient.

As a special friend shared with me, these moments are rays of sunshine in a cloudy day! Many of the days are cloudy, but in the little village of St Johnville, Rich and I remember that they are CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS!

I don't blog these things to complain or be negative about parenthood. Anyone who stumbles across my blog can see that Rich and I are so not textbook in ANY aspect of our lives together, but we are writing our own book and I just want people to know that it is OK not to be perfect and have others think that you live in 1960's television!
I have said before, I am not sure anyone even reads this crazy blog, but it helps me put into words what I am feeling at the moment! I have one loyal follower and she knows how mixed up and nutty my world is! But just in case someone stumbles across my lonely little blog: The silly nut pictured above is my rock! This pic was taken at our Christmas Vacation to Disney World. We had a blast! This was the first time Meggers and Payne had been so it was quite exciting.

I just want to know why someone doesn't tell new parents what to expect. I think that I am going to venture into the writing world and write a book "What to Expect when you leave the hospital". No one tells you the truth! Everyone wants you to think that those precious little things will stay that sweet and smell that good always, guess what, they LIED!

Babies grow up, they produce stink beyond your wildest imagination. Then they discover their voice and before you know it, they begin to talk back to you, and it is not always kind things they say.

I don't want you to think that this post is bashing parenthood, because I am not. I love my children and I love being their mother, but most of you who truly know me, know that I am completely transparent. I want you to know that it is hard! VERY HARD! I am glad that I have mounds of laundry, get to run errands, pick up a messy house and cook for my people. I could be all alone.

Life is not always picket fences and pink rosebuds (which by the way, my pink rosebush is full of blooms!). But even though we did not fall out of Ward and June Cleaver's house, my life is perfect. I have three healthy children and a MARVELOUS husband to share in the maddness with me. I told Rich last night, that I know he is my biggest fan! With God, he and I can turn the maddness into happy memories for our children. Not every day is going to be perfect.